Whose Line is it Anyway?: Bleach Edition
by Yusei-pal473
Summary: I thought of this before I started the 'Black Crescent' series. Essentially, I have four members of the Bleach cast on the set of Whose Line with Kisuke Urahara as the host. You, the fans, can even help to provide some good ideas for things they can do. Rated T for Language. Implied Ichi/Harem.
1. Sound Effects

**This is an idea I had for a while now before I started the **_**'Black Crescent'**_** series. I was having trouble finding a fourth character perform in it, as well as suggestions for Scenes from a Hat and a topic for a Hoedown. You read right, folks. This is a Bleach version of "Whose Line is it Anyway?" the show where everything is made up and the points don't matter.**

**Disclaimer 1: "Whose Line" was once owned by BBC and ABC. It is now owned by the CW.**

**Disclaimer 2: Tite Kubo and Shonen Jump own "Bleach".**

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**Game 1: Sound Effects**

Kisuke: "This is 'Whose Line is it Anyway: Bleach Edition'! Meet our performers: Squad 2 Captain Shaolin Feng, aka Soifon; Substitute Soul Reaper and the top of his class, Ichigo Kurosaki; Soifon's mentor and the Goddess of Flash, Yoruichi Shihoin; and Squad 13 Lieutenant and Ichigo's longtime friend, Rukia Kuchiki! I'm Kisuke Urahara; now let's make some stuff up!" _(Sits down at his desk)_ "Alright, welcome to 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' the show where everything is made up and the points don't matter. Hey, I just realized something, Ichigo."

Ichigo: "What's that?"

Kisuke: "You're either lucky or screwed." _(Audience laughter)_

Ichigo: "I'm both." _(The girls look at him)_ "I'm lucky that I get to work with three beautiful women, two of which who helped me during my Soul Reaper career. I'm screwed in the fact that I have to look at your mug all day today." _(Audience laughs hard while Soifon is rolling on the ground. Kisuke has the look Drew Carey gets when he's insulted)_

Kisuke: "Moving on, let's get started with our first game, entitled 'Sound Effects'. This is for Ichigo and Soifon. Let me just grab a couple of the audience members here." _(Grabs microphone and heads up to a couple of audience members)_ "Hi, what's your name?"

Mizurio: "Mizurio Kojima."

Kisuke: "And you?"

Keigo: "Keigo Asano!" _(Ichigo and Rukia shake their heads in disbelief, knowing what Keigo would do)_

Kisuke: "Keigo and Mizurio, okay. Now let's get to the stage here and we can get started. _(Takes them to the stage)_ "Now, Keigo, you'll be doing the sound effects for Ichigo. _(Ichigo facepalms)_ And Mizurio, you'll do the sound effects for Soifon. _(Turns towards Ichigo and Soifon)_ Alright, now your scenario is that you two are a couple going on a date to the movies." _(Has look of realization)_ "Oh, I almost forgot. Everything that these guys do comes from the top of their heads and based off of suggestions from the audience and these cards I have right here. They haven't been given any hints as to what's going to come next, and it's a whole lot of fun. Now begin."

Ichigo: _(Acts like he's driving a car) _"You know, I'm pretty excited to see this movie. I heard it got good ratings."

Soifon: "Yeah, I heard that too. I can't wait to see what they did with Optimus Prime." _(Looks in a direction)_ "Oh, we're here." _(Keigo makes the sound of a rubber duck squeaking as Ichigo 'parks')_ "What was that?"

Ichigo: "Ah, dammit, one of my friends brought his little sister along. She must've dropped one of her bath toys in the front seat." _(As Ichigo 'gets out of the car', Keigo makes the sound of a door opening and closing. Ichigo goes to Soifon's 'door' and Keigo does the same noise again)_ "Shall we go in?"

Soifon: "You're such a gentleman." _(They make like they're walking into the door of a theatre. As they're 'waiting in line', Mizurio makes a fart sound)_ "Oh man, it smells like somebody waited too late to have some eggs." _(Mizurio: "My bad. That was me.")_ "No worries." _(Turns to Ichigo)_ "We need to hurry up and get our tickets."

Ichigo: "No worries we're next in line." _(Makes like he's talking to a ticket booth worker)_ "Two for the new 'Transformers' movie, please."_ (Keigo: "Alright, here you go.")_ "Thank you." _(Turns to Soifon)_ "Do you want some popcorn?"

Soifon: "Oh yes please." _(They make like they got some popcorn and are heading towards a theatre room)_ "Now we can see if the reviews are true." _(Mizurio makes the farting sound again)_ "Oh God, not him again."

Ichigo: "Alright, we'll just move somewhere else and then we'll be good." _(Keigo makes the sound of a cell phone ringing, which Ichigo 'pulls out and hits the ignore button and sets it on vibrate')_ "Damned Dad of mine, wanting to start trouble."

Soifon: "Boy, I hear you. I can't wait to move away from my parents. They cause as much trouble as your dad does." _(Mizurio: "Can you guys keep it down? The movie is about to start.")_ "Sorry."

Ichigo: "This is why I don't go to movie theatres."

Soifon: "Then why did you decide to go today if that was the case?"

Ichigo: "Because you wanted to go." _(Soifon acts as if she's crying)_ "What's wrong?"

Soifon: "Oh nothing, just that that's the best reason I've ever heard." _(They hug, making like they're sharing a moment. Mizurio makes the farting sound)_ "Let's get out of here. We can always wait for it to come out on Netflix."

Ichigo: "Yeah, good point. You want to head home or go to the pizza parlor?"

Soifon: "The pizza parlor sounds good."

Kisuke: _(Hits the buzzer 5 times)_ "Alright, thank you for that entertaining rendition of a 50s movie. That's 500 points to each of you for your superb acting and 1000 points to Rukia and Yoruichi to help them get over their jealousy of Soifon for acting as Ichigo's date. Sorry, Keigo and Mizurio, but I cannot give audience members points."

Mizurio: "We understand." _(Keigo cries on the floor)_

Soifon: "Were you two really jealous of me?" _(Audience laughter)_

Yoruichi: "Oh yeah, we were. Rukia and I wanted to claw you off and take Ichigo for ourselves, especially Rukia."

Ichigo: "What do you mean by 'especially Rukia'?"

Yoruichi: "Please, don't tell me you hadn't noticed. She has Chappy the Rabbit forms of you and her holding hands in her notepad." _(Rukia holds up the notepad and shows the audience the drawings)_

Kisuke: "Alright, folks, we'll be right back with more 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' right after this!"

CHAPTER 1 END

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**Alright, it's as I've said, I've had this planned for quite some time, but there were a few elements I was missing. Originally, I was going to be the host, but I decided to have Urahara fill the spot instead. If you would be so kind, I need suggestions for 'Scenes from a Hat', which is going to be the next game. I'll see what I can do to make them as funny as I possibly can. Please write down your suggestions in the reviews, so I can take the good ones and put them in Kisuke's hat. Thank you.**

**Also, I am working on a crossover story featuring my OC Logan Washburn. I didn't put it in the crossover section yet because I wanted to see how well it did before I made it one. It's in the Street Fighter section with the main characters being OC, Chun-Li, and Guile, but it's a crossover with Bleach. I need some reviews for that one so I know what you guys think.**


	2. Scenes from a Hat & Green Screen

**I should've realized that most of the people on this site don't read the Author's Notes, or I wouldn't have asked you guys for suggestions for this next game. Here comes games number 2 and 3.**

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**Games 2 & 3: Scenes from a Hat and Green Screen**

Kisuke: "Welcome back to the special 'Bleach Edition' of 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. During the break, did you have to break up a fight? Ichigo and Yoruichi did. Luckily, it was just words." _(Applause and laughter)_

Rukia: "I never did ask, Urahara, but where's your hat?"

Kisuke: _(Reaches under the desk and pulls out a hat)_ "That's a good question, Rukia, which leads us into our next game and it is called 'Scenes from a Hat'! This is for all four of you!" _(Audience applauds)_ "Yoruichi and Rukia, you're over there. Ichigo and Soifon, you're by me. Before every show, we ask our audience members to write down suggestions of scenes they'd like to see acted out by our performers. We take the good ones, put 'em in this hat, and see how many they can do." _(Shuffles the suggestions, then takes one out)_ "Let's start with this one: 'Mad scientists you don't want to meet'."

Yoruichi: _(In Kisuke's voice)_ "Hello and welcome to the '_Urahara Shoten_'." _(Long buzz, Kisuke has Drew Carey's 'I've been insulted' face)_

Rukia: _(In Frankenstein's voice)_ "It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!" _(Audience applauds, including Byakuya. Kisuke buzzes)_

Ichigo: _(Brings Soifon with him, imitates the voice of Mayuri Kurotsuchi)_ "Now if you'll just lie here on this bed and we can begin the operation." _(Laughter and applause)_

Soifon: _(Imitating Nemu)_ "It's standard procedure." _(Audience laughs and applauses, Kisuke hits the buzzer)_

Kisuke: "That was funny." _(Takes out another piece of paper)_ "'Things you can say about your operation, but not about your girlfriend'. Ichigo, I think you're going to have to do a majority of these."

Ichigo: _(Shakes his head, then imitates Mayuri again)_ "Now if you'll just lie here on this bed and we can begin the operation." _(Audience laughs, Soifon and Rukia are rolling on the ground. Ichigo shakes his head again. Kisuke buzzes)_

Yoruichi: "Wow, that wasn't half-bad." (Laughter, Kisuke buzzes)

Ichigo: "Not really what I was expecting." _(Audience: Oooh!)_ "It turned out better." _(Laughter/applause, Kisuke buzzes)_

Kisuke: "Let's see if we can save your ass with this one, Ichigo: 'What the 'Whose Line?'/'Bleach' cast are thinking now'."

Ichigo: "My God, Lady Yoruichi's acting is top notch!" _(Looks to Soifon to see her reaction, Soifon smiles and laughs with the audience while pointing at Ichigo and beckoning him over. They high-five while Kisuke buzzes)_

Soifon: "I still can't figure out why Ichigo hates my drawings." _(Looks towards Rukia, who gives her a bow. Kisuke buzzes)_

Yoruichi: "Why do I have to say 'the points don't matter'?" _(Kisuke laughs harder as the audience applauses, hits the buzzer)_

Rukia: "Why does Rukia have to show me these drawings? I think they're cute, but she doesn't have to show them all the time." _(Looks to Ichigo as the audience laughs and Kisuke hits his button. Ichigo shakes his head as he goes up next)_

Ichigo: _(Imitates Mayuri one more time)_ "Now if you'll just lie on the bed here, we can begin the operation." _(Laughter)_

Soifon: _(Joins Ichigo and imitates Nemu one more time)_ "It's standard procedure." _(Audience laughs and applauses)_

Kisuke: _(Buzzes 5 times)_ "Alright, everybody back to your seats!" _(Everyone sits down)_ "Okay, that's 1000 points apiece, with an extra 500 going to Ichigo for his running joke and imitation of Mayuri," _(Looks around the audience)_ "who isn't around today. Alrighty then, let's move on to our next game. This is called 'Green Screen'. Rukia and Yoruichi, you two are on the stools. Soifon, you are at the green screen over there. Now this is a fun little game where only Rukia, Yoruichi, the audience, and I are the only ones who can see what Soifon is standing in front of. Audience, you cannot blab it out—which means that someone's going to have to shut Keigo up…" _(Audience laughter)_ "…and Rukia and Yoruichi, who will act as anchor reporters for a news station, will give Soifon some subtle hints as to what we all see. And…go."

Rukia: "We interrupt this program to bring you a WSSS special report!"

Yoruichi: "We will return you to the 'Kisuke Urahara Laze-a-thon' in just a moment," _(Laughter)_ "but first there has been an outbreak in the Soul Society. Shaolin Feng, aka Captain Soifon, is live on the scene."

Rukia: "How's the situation, Captain?"

Soifon: "Well, Rukia, this issue is a horrible mess! I've spoken with Lieutenant Kotetsu, but she couldn't figure it out either!"

Yoruichi: "Boy, I'm getting an eerie feeling about this one." _(Laughter)_ "Are you alright, Soifon?"

Soifon: "Yes, Yoruichi, I'm just fine, though I think I'm getting the creeps just standing here!"

Rukia: "I understand the feeling. It's looking creepy to me too." _(Laughter)_ "In fact, it looks vile from my perspective." _(More laughter)_

Soifon: "It is indeed vile like you said, Rukia!" _(Even more laughter)_ "In fact, I believe that it is so vile that there might not be a cure!"

Yoruichi: "Well we're still in the dark, no doubt. Soifon, can you tell us where you're at?"

Soifon: "I'm at the Soul Society's Research and Development Department!" _(Audience laughs and applauds along with Ichigo)_

Kisuke:_ (Buzzes 5 times)_ "Okay that was pretty good. That's 500 points for each of you."

Ichigo: "You two didn't do too bad on the hints. I couldn't have done better myself."

Rukia: "You're right, you couldn't have done better." _(Laughter)_

Soifon: "Watch it, Lieutenant. You might lose him. He did pretty well with Scenes from a Hat."

Yoruichi: "I'll say, and it's not just the Mayuri imitation either."

Kisuke: "Okay, that's enough idle chit-chat. We'll be back after these messages! Don't go away!"

CHAPTER 2 END

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**Alright, there are my own suggestions for Scenes from a Hat and Green Screen. Crazyblade89 told me that, while Drew Carey was hosting, there were times that they did both the Hoedowns and the Irish Drinking Songs in the same episode. I think I'll have Props and Hoedown next. I've got a good idea for the Hoedown, but I could use a suggestion, so if you'll be so kind as to provide one in the reviews, that'd be great.**


	3. Props & Hoedown

**Games 4 & 5: Props and Hoedown**

Kisuke: _(With the audience)_ "Welcome back to a special 'Bleach Edition' of 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' Right now, I'm sitting with Byakuya Kuchiki, who is the older brother of one of our performers, Rukia Kuchiki, and the Squad 6 Captain. How are you enjoying the show so far, Byakuya?"

Byakuya: "Quite personally, I think it's pointless. I've never been a fan of comedy in any way, shape, or form, and this especially goes for Improvisional Comedy. In spite of Rukia's performance, this show proves how utterly pointless it is."

Kisuke: "Okay, so you're enjoying it. That's good. Now let's get back with the show." _(Returns to his desk and pulls out a couple of unusual Styrofoam objects)_

Ichigo: "Oh you've got to be $# *%~# kidding me." _(Audience laughs)_

Kisuke: "No I am not $# *%~# kidding you, Ichigo. This next game is called 'Props' and it is for all four of you. Now what happens is this: Tessai, out of the kindness of his heart, made these Styrofoam props with the help of Jinta and Ururu. You'll each be split up into teams of two. Ichigo, you're with Rukia and Soifon, you're with Yoruichi. Each team will take a turn with the prop I gave them and, much like 'Scenes from a Hat', you'll be delivering quick one- or two-liners using the prop in a silly way. Here're your props, and you can start now."

Rukia: _(Ichigo is wearing their prop, which looks like moose antlers)_ "What kind of mutated rabbit are you?" _(Audience laughter)_

Ichigo: _(In Bullwinkle's voice)_ "You act like you've never seen a moose before." _(Audience laughs and applauds. Kisuke hits the buzzer)_

Soifon: _(Yoruichi is holding their prop, which turns out to be a baseball bat)_ "Boy, Lady Yoruichi, what an unusual stick you have."

Yoruichi: "All the better to hit your Lieutenant with. _(Audience laughs and applauds. Kisuke hits the buzzer)_

Ichigo: _(Holding one of the 'moose antlers' while Rukia is holding the other)_ "Huh, these are some odd clubs." _(Shrugs his shoulders and gets into a stance. Soifon has a smile on her face)_ "FORE!" _(Audience laughs while Soifon and Yoruichi are on the ground and Rukia acts like she's watching a golf ball going farther away. Kisuke buzzes)_

Yoruichi: _(She and Soifon are using their prop like a microphone)_ "And the award for 'Best Acting duo goes too…Ichigo and Rukia!" _(Audience applauds as Ichigo and Rukia hug them. Kisuke buzzes and has the Drew Carey 'I'm offended' face)_

Rukia: _(Ichigo is using the prop like teeth)_ "I thought that dinosaurs were extinct." _(Ichigo looks at the audience, who is laughing, with the props still at his mouth, and then roars back at Rukia. Kisuke buzzes)_

Soifon: _(Holding the bat on her head)_ "I'm going to kill whoever thought it was a good idea for me to dress like the Slim Jim Guy." _(Audience laughs and cheers. Kisuke buzzes)_

Ichigo: _(Rukia is holding their prop on her back)_ "You must be an angel. Those are some unusual wings, though." _(Audience laughs. Kisuke buzzes)_

Yoruichi: _(Holding their prop like a baseball bat while Soifon acts as if she's pitching a softball. Yoruichi swings and misses)_ "Dammit!" _(Looks towards Kisuke)_ "Hey, ball boy, hand us another ball will you!" _(Audience laughs)_

Kisuke: _(Hits the buzzer 5 times)_ "Okay, thank you for those performances, you guys. That was quite entertaining. That's 1000 points apiece. Yoruichi, I won't deduct your points for that last comment. I'll just reduce your paycheck."

Yoruichi: "We don't get a paycheck, remember?"

Kisuke: "That's right, readers; we are entertaining you guys for free. Now let's see what's next on our agenda. Oh, would you look at that? It's everyone's favorite game…'HOEDOWN!" _(Audience cheers while the performers get back up again. The order is Soifon, Ichigo, Yoruichi, and Rukia)_ "Now what I need from the audience tonight is something good that's on TV." _(Audience: "Law & Order!" "CSI!" "Pokémon!" "Ninja Turtles!")_ "I heard Pokémon in that. That's just a single show, though. It's quite popular with children and animation fanatics in general. Why don't we broaden our horizons and expand that to 'Anime'? Ladies and Gentlemen, here is the 'Anime Hoedown' played by Orihime Inoue. Take it away, Orihime, whenever you're ready."

_(Orihime plays the 'Hoedown' music)_

Soifon:  
"Anime is a topic I don't talk much about,  
Primarily because with new shows, I have lots of doubts;  
But I'm stuck in my house because of lots of snow,  
So I guess I'll see what is on, oh no it's 'Naruto'!"

_(Audience laughs and cheers)_

Ichigo:  
"Every day around twelve, I'm lying in my room,  
Because my sister Yuzu always watches 'Sailor Moon';  
But come around three, Rukia has this habit,  
She drags me down the stairs with her to watch 'Chappy the Rabbit'!"

_(Audience laughs and applauds as Ichigo looks at Rukia, who is trying to look innocent)_

Yoruichi:  
"Doing these Hoedowns is a waste of time.  
It's hard to come up with one verse, and another one to rhyme;  
But to 'Blue Exorcist', I have to raise my glass.  
They don't have to do this, Kisuke, you can kiss my ass!"

_(Audience roars in laughter)_

Ichigo: "Don't give him any ideas, Yoruichi." _(Audience laughs while Soifon shakes her head)_

Rukia:  
"Earlier, Captain Soifon stole my rhyme.  
Now I have to find another for me and Ichigo to watch this time.  
Yuzu told me about one where hamsters were the stars of the show.  
In fact, I still remember the name, Ichigo, we're watching 'Hamtaro'! _(Audience laughs)_

All of them: "WE'RE WATCHING 'HAMTARO'!

Ichigo: _(After they all sit down)_ "We are not watching 'Hamtaro'. 'Chappy the Rabbit' is bad enough."

Rukia: _(As Yoruichi holds her back)_ "Don't you dare insult Chappy! That show is art at its best! You wouldn't know good animation if it hit you in the face!"

Yoruichi: "Uh, Kisuke, I think this is a good time for a commercial break!"

Kisuke: "As funny as this looks, you're right, Yoruichi. We'll be right back for more 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' right after this!"

CHAPTER 3 END

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**I hope you enjoyed those games. It was tough to come up with the Hoedown verses. It'll be tougher to get the Irish Drinking Song verses just right. Lucky for you, that's our next and final game along with the whole 'Reading the Credits' part.**

**By the way, if you couldn't tell, I censored Ichigo and Kisuke's swearing in this just to be a little comical.**


	4. Irish Drinking Song

**Final Game: Irish Drinking Song**

Kisuke: "Hello and welcome back to our special 'Bleach Edition' of 'Whose Line is it Anyway? How'd you guys like the show so far?"

Yoruichi: "It was good until you had us doing the Hoedown. Why do you think I burned your ass?" _(Audience laughs as Ichigo chokes on and spits out the water he was drinking. Soifon and Rukia are laughing at that)_

Kisuke: "Hey, watch it. The author donated that carpet to us."

Ichigo: "He probably gave it to us for reasons like that. Thank you, Yusei-pal473." _(Everyone claps and cheers as Kisuke hangs his head down)_

Kisuke: "Moving on, it is time for our final game, Ladies and Gentleman, and it is called…Irish Drinking Song!" _(Audience cheers as they make their way to the stage)_ "Now what happens in this game is that these guys are going to make up an Irish Drinking Song and they're going to make it up one line at a time. Now what I need from the audience is a type of person or people." _(Audience: "Politicians!" "Business owners!" "Rich people!" "Jerks!")_ "Those are all damn good ones. I think we'll combine them all into a 'People we hate' Irish Drinking Song. Orihime Inoue, whenever you're ready, let's hear the 'People We Hate' Irish Drinking Song."

_(Orihime plays the Irish Drinking Song tune)_

All: "Ooooohhhh, Ay-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai!"

Soifon: "Everybody has that person they hate!"  
Ichigo: "That is for sure!"  
Yoruichi: "We all have to deal with them!"  
Rukia: "We're gonna name you four!"

Soifon: "First up is my Lieutenant!"  
Ichigo: "Who sits on the couch!"  
Yoruichi: "His name's Marechiyo Omaeda!"  
Rukia: "And he is a real slouch!"

_(Audience laughs as Omaeda goes red)_

All: "Ay-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai!"

Ichigo: "Then there's Isshin Kurosaki!"  
Yoruichi: "He is a real ass!"  
Rukia: "He always attacks poor Ichigo!"  
Soifon: "He'll eventually break some glass!"

Ichigo: "I don't know what I'll do!"  
Yoruichi: "It's like he's everywhere!"  
Rukia: "If he keeps it up!"  
Soifon: "He won't feel his derriere!"

_(Audience laughs as Isshin is in tears over Soifon's threat)_

All: "Ay-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai!"

Yoruichi: "Kisuke Urahara!"  
Rukia: "That name means certain doom!"  
Soifon: "He is a dreadful man!"  
Ichigo: "And his experiments go KA-BOOM!"

Yoruichi: "He usually taunts us!"  
Rukia: "But we don't say a word!"  
Soifon: "But this happens off screen!"  
Ichigo: "I usually give him the 'bird'!"

_(Audience laughs and cheers as Ichigo flips off Kisuke, who is hanging his head low)_

All: "Ay-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai!"

Rukia: "Mayuri Kurotsuchi!"  
Soifon: "Now there's a name I dread!"  
Ichigo: "You never know what he's planned!"  
Yoruichi: "In that giant head!"

Rukia: "How Nemu puts up with him!"  
Soifon: "I will never know!"  
Ichigo: "And it looks like none of us will!"  
Yoruichi: "'Cause that's the end of the show!"

All: "Ay-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai!  
Ay-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-dai-de-DAI!"

Kisuke: "Don't go away. We'll find out who the winner is, right after this!"

* * *

Kisuke: "Welcome back to 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' Tonight's winner is Yoruichi Shihoin and you and Rukia are going to play a couple of bartenders serving drinks to Ichigo and Soifon. And go!

Yoruichi: "Remember, those glasses have to be clean."

Rukia: "I know. What big names are coming here anyway?"

Yoruichi: "Oh, well known celebrities. We have Shaolin Feng, Ichigo Kurosaki, Yoruichi Shihoin, and Rukia Kuchiki. Now you wouldn't want to disappoint them, would you?"

Rukia: "No I…who's the guy coming in?" _(Pointing at Ichigo)_

Yoruichi: "I don't know, but it looks like he's got a girl with him already. What would you like, sir?" _(Ichigo holds up two fingers)_ "Two beers? You got it."

CHAPTER 4 END

THE END

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**I hope you guys enjoyed this. It was pretty fun to do. Until next time, ladies and gents.**


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